Dear Friends
by Apnx
Summary: A regular drinking night gone horribly wrong leads Mordecai to take a completely different look at his friendship with the raccoon. Yup, it's that kind of story.
1. Good Company

"Man, you're so right, she's just a slut."

"I know, right? That's like what I've been telling you for like... months." the raccoon took another sip of his glass and added "Like dude, remember that double date thing?"

"Er... with Eileen, right?"

"Yeah, what kind of slut- I mean, what kind of girl breaks off a date because she's going to a double date, which isn't even a date? That's like double cock block, dude!"

"Hm, don't say that dude."

"Why?"

"It's not like I just want to, you know... just bang her."

"Well, you'd have more chances if that was the case, dude."

"Waddya mean?"

"Well, she probably doesn't want you 'cause she knows you don't only want to bang her." replied the raccoon as he took another sip of his drink. "

"Like she doesn't want someone who actually loves her, but just someone who fucks her?"

"Basically."

"What kind of girl wants that?"

"A slut."

Mordecai let out a soft chuckle as he took his half-emptied glass in his hand and looked at it. Earlier that day, he had thought he finally had gathered enough confidence to ask the cute waitress from the coffee shop out on a date, only to find out she had yet another new boyfriend. It wasn't much of a surprise, since Margaret had always been known for her short-lived relationships, but the bird still felt deeply upset about it.

"Dude, just finish this one, I'm gonna get another round!" shouted Rigby as he tried to catch the waiter's attention.

He had originally invited Mordecai to go out for drinks just so that he could cheer him up - the perspective of having to put up with the bird's bad mood for the next week wasn't the most appealing - but after a few drinks, discussing the red robin's private life became much more enjoyable than he thought it would have been.

When the raccoon had gotten two new drinks, he gave his feathered friend one and drank along with him.

"Beside," started Rigby, who clearly had been drinking a bit too much "it's not like she has ever had a boyfriend for more than 2 weeks."

"I dunno dude, I think she was with that Angel guy for like 2 month."

"You know her boyfriends' names and how long she was with them? Dude, she probably doesn't remember herself, you need to stop obsessing over her."

"I'm not obsessed with her." replied Mordecai

"Yes you are, or you wouldn't be getting wasted right now."

"Point." said the bird as he gulped some of the whiskey in his glass. "But seriously dude, you're probably right, maybe I shouldn't waste my time with her."

"Exactly dude, she's like a total whore, you deserve totally better."

"Dude, why do you need to be drunk to actually make sense?"

"I'm NOT drunk!" protested the raccoon

"Yes you are dude, we've had the same drinks and I'm dizzy already!"

"Well, you're drunk then, not me."

"Dude, you're like half my weight, you can only be more drunk than me."

"No I'm not, and don't you try to change the subject" He emptied what was left of alcohol in his glass and said "You just need to like, get over her, seriously."

"I know dude, it's just..."

"What?"

"Well, I'm kinda fed up with being single, you know? Like even Muscleman has a girlfriend, what the hell?"

"Ew, I'd much rather be single than date _that_!" replied the raccoon "You made a cute couple, though."

"Shut up" answered the blue jay as he attempted to punch his friend, only to miss his shoulder by a few inches. He acted like nothing happened, not wanting the raccoon to question his sobriety. "Seriously dude, this is getting kinda depressing, you know..."

"What do you mean?" asked Rigby, his smile from his previous statement fading out a little

"I mean, that the only girls who'd go out with me are like Starla."

"How's that depressing?"

"Well, I dunno, I just feel like I'm some kind of ugly loser or something..."

"Aw, don't worry dude, you're cuuute!" teasingly said Rigby, pinching Mordecai's cheek, before the bird snapped his hand away. "Girls just suck at choosing dudes."

"Yeah... maybe you're right."

"Of course I am, have you seen the douchebags Margaret has dated so far?"

"True, they were all freaking losers."

"Yeah dude! Cool guys like us don't get the recognition they deserve."

"Agreed, dude" said Mordecai as he raised his hand to high five his little friend. "That's what we get for being awesome."

"Exactly."

"Seriously, it must be so much easier to be a chick, know what I'm saying? You just have to choose between all of the dudes who want you."

"Well, if you don't look like Starla."

"Yeah, of course. But like you know, at least guys wouldn't play with your feelings."

"Eh, they would, don't worry about that. I know what I'm saying." stated Rigby before ordering a new round again.

Mordecai looked at his friend as he tried to catch the barman's attention. The fact that his raccoon friend tended to swing both ways wasn't really much of a secret to him - they had grown up together, after all - but that wasn't something he liked to talk about, and he usually made sure not to bring it up. Over the years, the bird had learned to take these kind of remarks as a sign that his brown friend took the conversation rather seriously. Or had taken a few drinks too much.

He decided not to make any comment on this, and to go on about the conversation they were having.

"Maybe you're right and people just suck, then."

"My point exactly, dude. That's why I don't trust anybody, and never will."

"Wait, you don't trust me?"

"Well, that's different, you're not a people, dude. You're my bro!"

Mordecai laughed happily - and drunkely - and waved his arm at the barman, who instantly walked toward him.

"Just for that, I'm totally paying the next rounds, dude" he said "We're gonna have best bro night ever!"

"Yeah-yuh"

* * *

><p>Well, this is the first time I ever manage to write a fanfiction I think is worth posting, so I hope you guys will enjoy it!<p>

This chapter is so far the shortest, so expect the next ones to be relatively longer. Also, the rating will probably be raised in the upcoming chapters! (I'm not entirely sure yet, but do expect it to happen in the future).

See you next time!


	2. Late Night

After about two more hours of drinking, dancing, and discussing some more, the two friends walked their way back home through the park.

"Duuude, shut up or Benson's gonna kill us!" remarked Mordecai as the duo got closer to the house.

"Like you give a fuck." replied the raccoon. "Beside I'm partying with mah bro, here, serious business! Benson can suck my balls, dude!"

"OOOOOHHH!" yelled Mordecai as he stepped toward the door and got his keys.

After numerous attempts, they finally managed to open it and get inside, ready to go to bed.

"Dude, I'm totally not tired." said Rigby, clutching at his friend's arm not to fall on the ground.

"Neither am I, bro." replied the bird. "Dude, let's turn on the TV, I'm gonna get some weed."

"Yeah-yuh!" exclamed the raccoon as he stepped toward the couch and got the remote control.

Mordecai arrived some minutes later, focusing as much as he could on where he put his feet so that he wouldn't stumble, and sat next to his friend on the couch, with a bag of cannabis, a lighter, and some rolling paper, and attempted to roll a joint.

"Dude, you suck, lemme try." said Rigby.

"No way Rigby, you can't even roll when you're sober." replied Mordecai.

"I'm NOT drunk!" objected the raccoon.

"I want this to be a GREAT night with my bro, got it? And for that, I need some GREAT joints, so I'm not letting you roll."

"Hm, hm!"

"Alright, I'm done dude, gimme the lighter."

After they lit up the joint, they didn't really say anything as they started to smoke it, doing nothing but laughing at whatever movie was airing on T.V. After a while, Mordecai broke the silence.

"Dude, this is like... perfect!" he said, taking a puff for emphasis. "We should have more nights like this one!"

"Totally bro, just you, me, some booze, some weed, we don't need anything else."

"Yeah..." said Mordecai as he contemplated the television, smiling. There indeed wasn't much more needed at this moment, he thought. "I can't believe we were doing that because of Margaret, dude."

"Good thing she's such a slut, then!"

"Hahaha, agreed!"

Mordecai passed the joint to Rigby, and watched him puffing on it, a huge grin on his face.

"Dude," started the bird. "seriously, I don't even know what I'd do without you"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, like this afternoon I was like totally sad, and here I am, after the greatest night ever, sharing some weed with you. You know how to make me feel better, dude."

"That's what bros are for, aren't they?"

"True that. I wish chicks were more like you, dude." stated the blue jay.

"Well, they're not."

"I know, but I just wish they were, that'd be like so much better."

"So what? So you could date them?"

"Well, yeah."

"Dude, you're making this sound like you'd date me if I were a chick!" joked the raccoon.

"Hahaha, how come you're so much gayer when you're drunk, dude?" replied the bird.

"Says the guy who admitted he'd sleep with me."

"I never said I'd sleep with you, dude."

"Well, you say dating, kind of the same."

"I never said I'd date you either."

"Yeah right, you implied it."

"Did I?"

"Yes you did."

"Well, crap."

"So, would you?" asked the small mammall with a smug smile, puffing on the joint.

"Would I date an annoying little fag with the intelligence of a 8 years old? Well how could I not?"

"Indeed, how could you not want a piece of that?" replied the raccoon, pointing his own body with both his hands, accidentally burning a bit of his fur with the joint he was holding in his hand.

After the bird's hysterical laughter stopped, he looked at his friend in the eyes, a big dumb smile on his face.

"Seriously dude, I'd rather spend a night with you rather than aaany girl." Mordecai said.

"Eeer, what?"

"Er, I mean like, partying, you know... like I'd rather spend one night like this rather than hanging out with some girl."

"Well, it was fuuuun... and I like hanging out with you too, dude."

"I mean I've known you for what, 20 years? Yet we can still have awesome times like that."

"Yeah, I hear ya man." replied the raccoon.

"Seriously dude, thank you."

"For what?"

"I don't know, for existing, for sticking with me after all these years, you know..."

"Oh well, I like you, bro. And you've been sticking with me, too."

"Yeah, I just like being with you." said Mordecai.

"Me too!" replied Rigby, smiling.

After a little silence, the bird slightly opened his arm and asked:

"Dude, I'm totally stoned right now, bros-for-life hug?"

"Yeah-yuh!" exclamed Rigby, as he turned to the bird and actually held him in his arm.

The raccoon wasn't much for showing any sign of affection, let alone having any sort of physical contact usually, so Mordecai had actually expected him to back off at the last second, but he was glad he didn't. The blue jay loved his little friend a lot, but expressing their affection toward each others usually felt too awkward.

"Dude, this is great" said the raccoon, slightly rubbing his face on the bird's chest feathers.

"Yeah." answered the blue jay as he closed his eyes, holding his friend a bit tighter.

The two of them didn't really do or say much more for a short time, until Mordecai felt a soft kiss on his chest.

"Dude, seriously?" he asked, opening his eyes to grin at the raccoon. "Now that's like, really gay, man."

"Shut up, bitch, you love it" replied the raccoon as he kissed him again, on the neck this time.

"You're probably enjoying this much more than I am, bro" answered Mordecai, as he gave the raccoon a peck on the forehead, and closed his eyes again to enjoy the hug.

"Dude, gimme the remote control, please." asked Rigby.

"Sure, dude, why?"

"To mute the T.V, I can't hear you."

"Dude, I'm not talking"

"I know, I mean like your breathing, you know."

The blue jay couldn't help but break into laughter, and pulled out from the hug to fall out on the couch. When his hilarity faded away enough for him to talk, he said:

"Hahaha, dude, that sounded like SO cheesy"

"Hm, I don't know, it's just relaxing." replied Rigby, slightly embarassed.

"I know, it just sounds funny" he replied, rubbing some tears out of his eyes "I didn't know you had that in you, it's cuuuute"

"Had what?"

"Well you know, that you'd go all romantic like that"

"Romantic? Who said it was romantic?"

"I dunno, didn't you kiss me like 2 minutes ago?"

"Dunno, did you?"

Mordecai smiled at the raccoon, and held his paw in his wing.

"Well, I guess it was then, right?"

"Yeaaaah" said the raccoon as he leaned forward to give the bird a kiss on the beak. "Totally was."

Mordecai smiled at him and replied by kissing him right on the lips. They shared another hug, carressing each other's fur and feathers as the kiss went on. When they pulled out from the kiss, Mordecai held Rigby a bit tighter – sharing a close hug and kissing at the same time wasn't the easiest task with a beak as long as the bird's - and spoke again:

"Dude, I bet you've been wanting this for, like, years."

"Yeah right, like you don't want my dick so bad."

"Shut up, you totally want me" replied Mordecai, scratching the raccoon's head "I'd do greaaaat things to you, dude, and you'd love every single one of them" he added

"Oh Mordecai, you so strong" teased Rigby, giving his friend another short kiss on the beak. "Also _you_ totally want _me_"

"Maybe I do" replied the bird, who then kissed his friend on the neck, licking some of his fur and listening to his laugher, occasionally punctuated by soft moans. The raccoon eventually interrupted his friend to ask:

"Dude?"

"Yeah?"

"You... you're sure you wanna do this? You're drunk like fuck, man."

"I'm not drunk, you are" replied the bird with a smile. "And I wouldn't want to disappoint you, it's probably been 20 years you've been waiting for that." he teased.

"No, like seriously dude, you're sure?"

"I... yeah."

"Alright then" said Rigby as he got closer to his friend to lock lips with him again. Mordecai happilly opened his mouth, inviting the raccoon's tongue to play along with his.

The bird got his arms around his friend, carressing his back. He liked the feeling of his fingers dragging around fur, and he loved to feel the raccoon reacting differently depending of how he carressed him. The bird eventually felt his friend pulling out from the kiss to focus on his neck, licking and biting some feathers, kissing his skin.

"Dude?" interrupted Mordecai.

"What?"

"I don't want Pops or anyone walking on us like that, maybe we'd better go to our room?"

"Hm, agreed."

The two friends stood up and drunkenly walked toward their bedroom, clutching to each others to make sure not to fall on the ground. When they got inside it, and made sure the door was locked, the raccoon impatiently attacked his friend again, clutching to his shoulders, kissing every inch of skin his muzzle could reach, eventually forcing the bird to lie on his bed.

Slowly but surely, Rigby moved lower and lower on the bird's body, who eventually broke the silence to ask:

"Eerm, dude... do you, like..."

"Like what?"

"Do you... know what you're, you know, doing?' he asked, choosing his words as carefully as the alcohol would let him.

"Don't worry dude, I know all that I am doing" replied the raccoon with a grin, more determined than ever to go as far as possible.

As he licked the feathers on the bird's belly, Rigby tentatively carressed his lower parts, watching after his friend's reaction. Mordecai let out a soft moan, more of surprise than anything, but didn't say anything, his fingers still dragging around the small mammal's fur. Rigby took this as a sign to go on, and actually grabbed the blue jay, trying to find which rhythm he reacted best to.

As he heard the sounds made by his friend, the raccoon's excitation reached a new level, and he decided he couldn't wait to give him more. He positionned himself on the bed so that he would face directly the bird's member, and without much hezitation, wrapped his lips around the tip.

Mordecai couldn't help but let out a moan of pleasure as he suddenly felt the inside of the raccoon's mouth. Maybe it was the booze, the weed, or just the fact that he hadn't been in that kind of position for a pretty long time, but the feeling was insanely great. When he felt the mammal's head bobbing up and down, he put his hands around his head, encouraging the movement and carressing his fur, hoping he wouldn't take this as a kind of sign of domination. Rigby didn't mind, happy that his friend was appreciating it. In fact, after a while, when he felt that the bird was getting closer, his arousal grew even bigger, and he decided this wasn't enough. Beside, he had his own needs, too.

When Mordecai felt a last lick from Rigby, he opened his eyes to see his friend, slightly stroking himself, a questionning look on his face. It didn't take a long time for the bird to figure out what the raccoon had in mind, and he suddenly felt quite embarassed.

"Erm... dude, I'm not sure..."

"Aaaw, don't worry, you're gonna looooove this" teased Rigby, a smut smile on his face.

"I dunno dude, I... I've never..."

"I'll go eaaasy on you dude, like a fucking gentleman, you'll see" replied the raccoon.

When he noticed his friend still seemed pretty worried, he tried to give him his most confident smile, which ended up much more seductive than he had intended. However, the bird did seem to feel a bit better, and let his head fall on the pillows, breathing slowly, trying to get himself as relaxed as possible.

When he first felt something, Mordecai though his friend had actually started to do what he had in mind, but soon realized it was only one of his fingers. The bird kept his eyes closed, not wanting to look at his friend while he was loosening him up, trying instead to get used to the feeling. It wasn't painful but it was still weird to him.

The bird analyzed the feelings he was receiving, all sorts of questions going through his mind before he felt his friend's fingers being pulled out, knowing what was going to happen next. He opened his eyes to look at Rigby, nodded to make him understand that he was ready, and lied on his back again, waiting for his friend to just get this over with.

When he felt Rigby pushing himself into the entrance, Mordecai couldn't help but let a noise almost of pain escape. He had gotten used to the raccoon's fingers, but that was different. He noticed that his friend seemed to be about to back up, as he heard the bird's reaction, so he muttered something about getting used to it, and closed his eyes to at least try to enjoy the experience.

He could feel a bit of pain, but it wasn't horrible, and he could already see what one might enjoy about this. Even if it wasn't sensational yet, the feeling of his friend pushing in and pulling out in a regular motion was starting to become acceptable, and almost pleasant.

Mordecai relaxed a bit more, happy to think that he might actually get some pleasure out of an experience he would have expected to be plainly painful, but still felt a bit embarassed in this position. Even if it had been the most amazing feeling ever, getting pummeled from behind by a dude still didn't feel like the most masculine thing to do.

The stimulation he was getting from the raccoon was starting to get really enjoyable, and Mordecai was having troubles not making too much noise, but he still felt like he needed a bit more, and lifted his arm to reach his own maleness. As soon as Rigby noticed this, he snapped his friend's hand away and started doing it himself. The blue jay opened his eyes to look at his friend and try to thank him, but his attempt came out as an awkward moan of pleasure, accompanied with a rather strange face. The bird closed his eyes, letting out a soft chuckle in embarassement as he heard his friend laughing, before he continued to motion his hips.

As the minutes passed, the bird's occasional sounds became more frequent and audible, the raccoon's name escaping his beak from times to times. Rigby loved what he was hearing, and it didn't take long before it all ended. Who finished first wasn't really clear to either of them, but next thing they knew they were lying on the bed next to each others, their lips locked in a kiss again.

"Dude, you were right," started Mordecai. "this is pretty relaxing." he added as he put his ear against the raccoon's chest, to hear his heavy breathings better.

"Of course I was right," replied Rigby proudly. "like when I told you you'd loooooove this!"

"Shut up dude, you totally sucked my dick." retorted the blue jay.

"Point. Anyway, I'm gonna sleep dude, I'm fucking tired, now" said the raccoon, as he gave the bird a quick kiss on the beak, put his head against his chest and closed his eyes. "Good night, bro." he added.

Mordecai carefully removed the blanket from under him and his friend's bodies, to put it above them, wrapped his arm around the raccoon and gave him one last kiss on the head before replying:

"Good night, buddy"

* * *

><p>Well, there is the second chapter for you, I hope you enjoyed it!<p>

I originally though I was going to edit this chapter, since I felt that the sexual part was a bit too gratuitous, but then I though "why the hell not?" and left it.

Anyway, see you next time for chapter 3!


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